Archive for the ‘400lb Gorilla’ Category

Rules of Oklahoma

August 18, 2007

Hat Tip: Ron Black
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That’s what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-40 and I-240 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.

8. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there’s no “vegetarian special” on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah….We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat…IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in Southern OK….and real chili never met a bean!

12. You bring “coke” into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring “Mary Jane” into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards — it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? OU, OSU. East Central or South Eastern. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so “Don’t Mess with OKIES,” If you do, you will get whupped by the best.

Shocker of the Day: "400lb Gorilla" Calls a Race Wrong!

August 15, 2007

“I was, and still am, in shock and I admittedly called the Democratic side of the County Commissioner race completely wrong….Yep, I was wrong and it wasn’t the first time and I promise you that it won’t be the last.”

“Psuedo consultant” Ron Black OKPNS "Highest Rated Blog"

August 10, 2007

Mike McCarville reported earlier this week about a new “blog agregater” that compiles the feeds of top bloggers in Oklahoma to “create new content and information.” The founders of this ambitious project are duplicating their efforts in over thirty states. Upon closer inspection of the site, “Pseudo” consultant Ron Black’s website is rated……The Oklahoma Political News Service will need to do further investigation to find it. Thank You Readers!

From the Tip Line: "Poor Poor Foshee"

May 25, 2007

Check out his site –

“There will be no way that I allow my family, my friends, and my character be attacked like they have in the past.”

[Are] we sure this is not Ron writing for Denise Bode – when has he been attacked?

Here is another clip –

“Prediction: My opponents and/or their supporters WILL go negative on me because they have no other choice. My record for this District stands on its own merit and they have no alternative. As a matter of record, they have already begun to go negative.”

NEGATIVE? Who has gone negative, this is such a joke and for him to look like a victim.

Always seems funny to me [that] those that don’t want things to get negative are those that have something to hide.

Foshee Campaign Stalled?

May 24, 2007

Senate District 45 candidate Jerry Foshee – “The Voice of the People” – is apparently having trouble getting his fledgling campaign out of neutral and to the people. Sources tell OKPNS that Foshee’s campaign is having early trouble raising money and booking speaking engagements for the candidate.

A rumored still low campaign treasury, coupled with employing over priced consultants, may indicate why Foshee’s campaign website hasn’t been updated in weeks and is currently terribly disfigured and disjointed. (Website corrected as of 4:30 CST.)

Sources also tell OKPNS that Foshee’s recent offer to buy dinner for the Frontier Country Women’s group – if he could speak to them for an hour – was politely turned down publicly. An anonymous state party official told us privately that they were not going to be a campaign tool for an “ambulance chaser’s campaign piece.” Another insider told us facetiously, “When did he [Foshee] become a Republican?

The Oklahoma Political News will continue to investigate.

Jerry Foshee: "Voice of the People"

May 1, 2007

District 45 Senate candidate Jerry Foshee calls himself the “voice of the people” on his campaign website. Foshee is expected to make his candidacy official later this month.

According to campaign reports, “the voice of the people” isn’t necessarily getting the financial support of the people. Foshee raised $5,250 in the first quarter – 5,000 of which came from the FOP PAC – a PAC his law firm represented while he was city councilman. Out of his 14k+ total raised last quarter, $9,000 was a loan to himself.

Foshee also says on his site that a “couple very well known political figures and activists will be taking roles in his campaign, individuals from Cleveland and Canadian Counties.” Campaign reports also show “political consultant” Ron black is being paid $3,500-$3,900 a month.

Bode Accepts Job In D.C.

April 20, 2007
From The McCarville Report Online:

“Corporation Commissioner Denise Bode announced today she is resigning effective May 31st to head a new natural gas trade association, Clean Skies Foundation, in Washington. A major member of the association, she said, is Chesapeake Energy Co. of Oklahoma City.”

Read more…

Richardson Receives Endorsement From Insignificant Democratic Activists

February 23, 2007 co-owner Calvin Reese (Right) pictured with “psuedo political consultant” Ron Black last summer.

From McCarville Report Online:

“Democratic presidential candidate Bill Richardson gained the support of three prominent Democratic bloggers and activists in Oklahoma today…

“Calvin Rees, Tim Reese and Jane Luttrell of lined up behind Richardson Friday. “Richardson is right for Oklahoma” said Calvin.”

“Tim Reese, of the blog said, “Richardson should be very popular in Oklahoma. His experience as Secretary of Energy gives him insight into stimulating domestic production of oil and gas which makes us less dependent on foreign oil.”

With the Reese Bros. endorsement of Bill Richardson – who is aiming to become our first Hispanic president – Richardson won’t have to worry about racist, stereotypical caricatures of himself appearing on their website anytime soon.

Any guesses on how quick Richardson’s people are going to flee from this unsolicited endorsement once we send this post to them?

HYPOCRISY WATCH: Bad Gorilla… Bad, Bad Gorilla

February 14, 2007

This editorial was submitted to us from a reader this morning. OKPNS encourages our readers to submit tips, suggestions, and editorials.

On Monday, everyone’s favorite Sooner Simian (Black has long called himself the “Bad Gorilla” of Oklahoma politics, just to clarify for any new readers who might be wondering about all the ape-speak) published in his daily rant a missive titled “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” Stephen King has spun less ridiculous tales than some of the lines I found in this blog, and so, having a little extra time on my hands, I decided to respond. Why? Because it’s my way of reminding Black we care.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “As a pseudo-political consultant, one of my most glaring weaknesses is that I tend to be pretty loyal and those loyalties transcend mere partisan politics, but cuts to the very essence of who I am as a person.”

TRUTH: No one’s arguing that Black’s a pseudo-consultant (okay, forgive me for swinging at that one… but I had to), but isn’t Ron Black calling himself loyal a bit like the Titanic continuing to call itself unsinkable? The Denise Bode lead-flack lost his race, moved to Cornett for a week, and then spent the rest of the campaign undermining Cornett and his team, whom he’d gotten a look at from the inside. And as for transcending partisan politics, maybe that part is true, considering that he worked for one Republican (Denise Bode) and one Democrat (David Prater) last election cycle.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “For many people, politics is deeply personal because their whole existence is dependent upon the political process and it is within the political realm where they eat, sleep, drink, and draw a paycheck.”

TRUTH: Gonna hafta disagree with you here, Ron. What you see as personal is perhaps more a competitive spirit. What you didn’t like about the Bode campaign was losing, and perhaps it wasn’t the others who were taking it personally. Perhaps it was you. And Denise. And maybe Kevin Calvey. Everyone else pretty much just moved on. As for drawing a paycheck, it’s called “having a job” Ron.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “One candidate in the last election cycle awakened to find their opponent’s yard signs all over their front yard – imagine that for a moment.”

TRUTH: This story gets better every time you tell it. Post the picture you have on your website. It was two signs! It was a third campaign that put them there. Imagine instead one candidate having his commitment to family values called into question by Denise Bode? Or another candidate being accused of ordering a church to be torn down? And the most you can complain about is a candidate suffered the horror of a couple yard signs in her yard? Put the hash-pipe down, Ron, you’ve had your fill.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “I call myself a “pseudo-consultant” because I still have a soul and I consult with candidates I like, I know, and I believe would be great for the job they desire.”

TRUTH: David Prater did an excellent job defending cop-killers, did he? Thanks for helping put a Democrat in office Ron.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “I know that what I am about to share with you may seem arrogant but I give you my word that it is not. You see, I have been approached by a significant number of potential candidates for public office and a few political action committees to work with them on campaigns. Thus far, I have agreed to work with only one – Jerry Foshee and his campaign for Senate District 45 in 2008. There are one or two others I am considering right now, but I have turned down and walked away from a ton of cash because frankly, I want to be able to wake up in the morning, look at my family and know that I haven’t yet sold my soul.”

TRUTH: Ah, who knows? To each his own, and to some soulless consultant that “ton of cash” Ron just couldn’t manage to accept.

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “I refuse to work with anyone whose idea of winning includes unwarranted attacks on their opposition that have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the office their opponent seeks.”

TRUTH: When you attacked Mary Fallin for alleged (and unproven) personal indiscretions, what did that have to do with the office she was seeking? When you attacked Mick Cornett on a local library book issue, what did that have to do with Congress? Is this a new standard you’re setting, Ron?

BAD, BAD GORILLA: “Perhaps we will learn from our past and dare not make the same mistakes – particularly those of us who call ourselves Republicans.”

TRUTH: Lesson One, according to a friend at the State Republican Party: stop helping elect Democrats. Learn that, and perhaps you can get a promotion from “pseudo-consultant” to full-fledged consultant. And then, one day, we’ll call you the “Good Gorilla of Oklahoma Politics.”

Dare to dream, Ron. Dare to dream.